Narcoleptic Insomniac, and a few other oxymorons that describe me

Do you ever feel like there's something about you that just doesn't make sense? Welcome to the human race. Everywhere I look, people these days like going out of their way to prove how weird, strange, or downright crazy they are. The weird thing to me is, most of them seem perfectly normal.

Being weird no longer makes you an outcast. It's what makes you noticeable, and therefore popular. Sure, there's good weird and bad weird, but either one will get you noticed. Either will get you attention. It's up to you to project the right type of weird to get the desired attention.

Some people, however, still feel the need to act normal. Do they not like attention? Do they like being ignored? Or is their Weird a little too strange for other people, or garnering an uncomfortable type of attention?

Aldous Huxley's Brave New World is described as dystopian. Post-WWIII, the world united into a peaceful World State. People are hatched in factories, predestined for a certain caste, which will determine their job and social group. As for society, "Mond explains that social stability has required the sacrifice of art, science, and religion. John protests that, without these things, human life is not worth living." (sparknotes)

When I first read Brave New World, I saw it as a sort of paradise. Ignoring the sexual side of their civilization, everyone knew exactly where they stood in life and could easily relate with and to others in their social group.

Everyone's brain works somewhat differently. That's part of being human, being unique. Between nature and nurture, everyone's experience, though relatable, is exclusively their own. When I say my brain works differently than that of people around me, I don't mean like this. I mean that I have difficulties communicating with people, almost daily, because I don't know how to get my point across. What makes sense to me is strange and completely unheard of to other people. When I was young, my dad and I would argue (like, really going at it) until my mom or sister came in and pointed out that we were, in fact, saying the same thing. They just needed to reword both of our arguments until we realized it. As such, I've become adept to explaining myself (usually). There are, however, still often times in which I need someone to explain themselves multiple different ways before I'll know for certain that I'm understanding what they're trying to say.

In Brave New World, I wouldn't have that problem.

Having written this, I'm nervous that the takeaway is that I'm trying to say I'm more unique than you. That's actually not the case. I think what I'm trying to say is more along the lines of "feel free to ask for clarification on anything I write, because there's a decent chance that I didn't say what I meant to." Also, that it's difficult for me to find people for whom I'm not constantly rephrasing what I say so that we both understand what I'm saying. I sometimes get tired of constantly repeating myself. This combination of facts makes for a great deal of loneliness.

Embrace your weird. It's what makes you You. But also embrace your normal. That's what makes you relatable.

As promised in the title, here are some lovely oxymorons that describe me. Feel free to comment with your own!

• Divorced virgin (explained previously)
• Narcoleptic insomniac (I can fall asleep basically anywhere except in bed. I've fallen asleep on a roller coaster before, and at a rock concert, but in bed at night it takes me a few hours to finally drift off, if I ever do)
• Shy extrovert (I need people around, but they have to be the right people. Mostly, introverts. Extroverts tend to scare me as they're often loud and unpredictable)
• Hopeful pessimist (I have a firm and unyielding belief that Murphy's law is more accurate than that of gravity. I still, however, often have the viewpoint of "what's the worst that can happen?" and/or "there's no harm in trying". These two do not often mix well.)
• Non-reading bibliophile (I don't have the attention span to sit down and read things often. The number of books I've gotten halfway through and then just forgotten to finish is rather depressing. But I love having books around, and I'll buy it if it looks interesting enough.)
• Cheap shopaholic (I hate spending money, but at the same time I really enjoy thrift shopping, grocery shopping, and browsing stores online to find new and exciting things.)