Beauty Rant

I posted this to facebook a few months ago. It's still relevant, so I'm putting it up here, with some slight editing.

Caution: rant ahead. If you don't want to read the full unaltered rage of a 20-something white girl, stop here and read no further.
You have been warned.
And yes, there will be swearing.
Not excessive, but strongly used with no holds barred.

TL;DR - Yes, I'm cute. Yes, I'm friendly. No, I won't fuck you. Get over it. Or don't, and let me call the cops on your ass. Your choice :)

So I've been told that I'm physically attractive. Depending on who says it and how, I have mixed reactions, between:
-thank you
-flat out denial
-apologizing
-....worse (we'll get to that momentarily)

No, I'm not ranting about grammar or inflection.

I'm upset with the societal hangup over fucking appearances, and judging people by different standards personality-wise because of how they look.

People get mad at me for forgetting to eat. That's fair (sort of). For my body to continue to function, it needs fuel. People want me to keep existing. The fact that I'm not intentionally "not eating" but actually honestly forgetting means that you don't need to be super concerned. As much as I appreciate your concern, I also appreciate my adult freedom to make my own mistakes, and have never eaten little enough to have severe negative anything. Sometimes my anxiety will straight-up prevent me from being able to choke anything down. I will balance it out.

People also get mad at me for being super skinny, especially if they see me eating a lot. This was more common before depression stole my appetite, but still happens.

Yes, I can eat an entire pizza in one sitting.
Or a loaf of bread as french toast.
Or a huge stack of pancakes.

I have a high metabolism. I come by that naturally (just ask anyone related to me). I don't know how that works with my forgetting to eat, but it's not a choice I make, it's how my body happens to work right now.

I'm sorry that that may not be your case. As far as I'm concerned, people are too focused on their weight these days. You will NEVER catch me even thinking somebody should lay off of the chocolate cake for the sake of (anything, it's chocolate, but especially) their figure.

If you want to be skinny, whether you work for it or not, that is your desire. If not, I’m ok with that. Like, actually ok.

Not to sound callous, but I really just don't fucking care.

People get mad at me for not putting enough (or the proper) effort into my hair/makeup/wardrobe/etc.

Yes, I like bold colours of lipstick. And yes, that's pretty much the entirety of my makeup collection (except nail polish, but that has a bunch of uses besides just nails).

Most days I don't even bother brushing my hair. I usually sleep with it tied back, wake up, and let it down just to put it back up properly.

Holy flying fuck, people. I need sleep. I have trouble dragging my sorry ass out of bed at all some days, let alone with enough time to spend 2 hours blow-drying my hair (there's a lot of it), another half hour brushing it, and then doing makeup and whatnot on top of that. Ten seconds on the bus applying lipstick is all I have to put into it. Beyond that, it's not going to happen, plain and simple. Once we all get that through our heads, I'll be quite happy.

As for my fashion choices (clothing, glasses, jewelry, etc.), my money means my choice.

I will not pay $300 for glasses frames that I don't like just because "they suit my face better" (actual quote from the guy trying to sell me glasses). I will buy the ones that first attracted my attention because they better match my sense of style, and therefore most of my clothing.

I don't usually wear much jewelry because [see makeup above], but my piercings (all fake, btw) are for fun and because I like how they look. Someday I may try getting pierced again, and I keep the fakes around to play around with different ideas before I commit. It's not likely to happen though, so don't worry.

As far as clothing goes, I firmly believe in function over form. If I can't be myself in it, there is no way in hell I'm actually wearing it anywhere. This applies to my disdain for skirts (I fall down a lot and would really rather not accidentally flash people), my preference for heels (they actually boost my self-confidence and literally help me not feel depressed every fucking day, plus I'm more focused on walking in them, so they don't actually make me fall down any more), and ripped jeans. (I'm not throwing out a perfectly good pair of pants just because they now have ventilation. Otherwise a pair of jeans would last me about (if I'm generous) 10 wears, maximum.)

Last, but most certainly not least...

I am fucking sick of having to decide between:

-being my bubbly friendly self, knowing somebody is going to misunderstand and think I'm flirting and I'm going to be oblivious and, trust me, this never ends well. especially ESPECIALLY when they come back and blame me for leading them on when I'm just here thinking "I'm literally just this friendly to everyone. please get your head out of your fucking ass and let me be a fucking ray of sunshine"

and

-being so fucking overparanoid that I'm seen as a reserved shy/snobbish prick, or as a pushover who you should definitely flirt with because even if I say no I can't possibly mean it, and even if I did, I'm skinny and not because I actually work out, so you could easily just do whatever the hell you wanted and leave my broken shell behind.

For those of you still with us:
1) I'm going to continue as normal, because I am a strong-ass woman who has had multiple people force themselves on me (verbally, physically, etc) and is never going to let someone else win and break me again. once was more than enough. you try to break me and |oh. em. queso.| are you ever going to regret that.
2) If you actually legitimately want to flirt with me, understand that "no" is a valid response. Or, at least know that my significant other (yes, I'm taken) knows how to fight and has a knife collection. No means no.
3) Fuck Valentine's Day. And the 3 months after (for personal reasons). But mostly Valentine's Day. Romance should have more spontaneity rather than arbitrary obligation.

/end rant