The Worst of Tinder, Part 1

I haven't posted about the sex part of "sex, drugs, and baking" in a while. I think I wanted to give you a break. Or me. Maybe I wanted a break?

Either way, here we go again...

Two years ago some time this month is when I decided I was no longer Christian. One piece of the fallout from that was me deciding to try online dating. Specifically, tinder.

I knew I was very inexperienced, and as such I was very timid and tried to be extremely careful. I'd chat with someone for a bit before agreeing to meet up, and then it had to be in a public place with no plans of going back to anyone's place.

This is not how people of tinder work.

Put simply, tinder is, in my experience, a flirting and one-night-stand service. But, unless they agreed to meet in public, I flat out refused.

Eventually (after close to a month) someone agreed. He suggested Tim Horton's. If you know me apart from my blog, you already know what's coming. For anyone who doesn't, I worked at various Tims for six years and absolutely hate them. They treat their employees like shit, and their food and coffee are really not great quality. I'm surprised I've not been diagnosed with PTSD. I still have nightmares about working there.

But, I was getting lonely and desperate, so I agreed.

We met. Neither of us knew what to say. It was awkward. He suggested we go see a movie. I agreed. Not knowing terribly well where we were, I followed his lead in getting on the bus. It wasn't until he directed me off of the bus that I realized he had meant a movie at his place.

My mistake: "I've already agreed to this, he's saying it'll just be a movie, nothing will happen."

It's terrifying to know that I used to be even more naive than this.

He set up the movie. We sat down to watch. He started trying to cuddle. He grabbed at my chest. I told him off. He tried to kiss me. I backed away. He kept trying both of those moves.

I made up an (obviously dumb) excuse and left.

I know it could have gone significantly worse. I'm lucky it only went like that. I still cried on the way home.

I deleted tinder, and felt hopelessly alone.

But I didn't settle. For that, I'm grateful.