I Just Wanna be a Bitch

A lot of people get confused or concerned when I mention that I like being called a bitch. This is understandable. The two main adjectives that I strive for as personal descriptors are "cute" and "sweet".

But the third one is "strong".

"Bitch" takes it too far the other way, possibly. But for a considerable portion of my life, I thought that saying no was rude, and that having a backbone was a severe discourtesy.

Let's just say that my ex-inlaws would not like me as much now as they used to.

In my ex's family, it was very much "mother knows best" and "if mother's not happy, nobody's happy". Nobody argued it. It was a fact of life.

I came from a very different family background. One where my parents listened to and respected each other and us, and we were expected to do the same.


One Sunday after church (which mother didn't attend due to work schedule, but everyone else was expected to no matter what), then-boyfriend and I were heading out to go to work when he got called back into the house for a minute. I waited. He came back out and passed along the message from his mother that if I didn't do something about my hair, I was not welcome back at their house.

I was livid.

I mean, she couldn't even tell me herself?

And, after all, it's just hair. My family didn't care about appearances. I hated brushing my hair, so I usually tied it back in a ponytail. (Now I brush it and then tie it back, but it looks about the same.)

So I agreed to the terms and didn't return. We didn't break up or anything, but I wasn't fixing my hair, so I wasn't welcome back at their house, and I wasn't about to go where I wasn't welcome.

A couple of days (or weeks, this was years ago; I don't remember) went by and his parents started asking about me. Why hadn't I been around?

I asked if the statement had been apologized for. His response: "I've never known her to apologize for a thing in my life."

I tried to stick to my stance, but he insisted I was making to big a deal out of it, and I was being unreasonable, so I backed down.


When I call a friend of mine "bitch", or ask them to so call me, it's not a slur. To me, it's almost going back to the root of the word. To me it means "I know what's important, and I'll stand up for it as fiercely as I have to," like a dog with her puppies.

I still tend to submit and dodge confrontation, but I'm working on it.

One of these days I'll be as much a bitch as my pup!