One thing I've repeatedly noticed during this pandemic (and have also seen stated a number of times) is that people with anxiety disorders are handling it a lot better than those without. Why? Because we're used to feeling like the world is ending, and we already have practise with coping strategies and such.
So, from one anxious person to another, here are a few coping strategies that I have found useful. Please note: I am not a trained psychotherapist or anything like that. Nothing here is guaranteed. I'm just trying to be helpful by sharing my own personal experience.
This is formatted as an interview, because I was asked for some advice and decided to share it with all of you :)
Questions, as asked: (I use Eddie (my dog) as an example in my answers so no one risks getting too personal or whatever.)
Friend: Does talking about your anxiety help, or make it worse? Because sometimes it seems like they're both true.
Me: It depends on how you're talking about the feelings. First off, when I talk about this, there's a difference between ranting and venting. Ranting builds pressure, venting releases it. Typically (in my experience) if your talking is focussed on the problem, it's ranting. If, however, it's in terms of what you can do about it, that's more beneficial.
eg. Eddie gets nervous meeting strangers sometimes. He expresses this by barking and lunging at them. That is ranting. We are teaching him to walk around strangers and give them extra space by communicating to him (albeit nonverbally) that he is safe, and we are there for him and will protect him.
Friend: How do you know when to just feel the feelings vs trying to make the feelings stop??
Me: When to feel the feelings is mostly about your environment.
"Are you in a safe space?" is the key.
What this is actually asking: who is around you? what are you doing? is the general atmosphere (besides anxiety) comfortable? If you're feeling extreme emotions, you don't need to be bringing in other worries, like "what will people think". Typically, I like to be alone, in the dark, and on a bed/couch/etc.
alone: no risk of embarrassment.
dark: less external stimulus (allows focus to explore the anxiety and ask questions about it. the more you know, the stronger you are against it)
bed: comforting (cold cement floors can be a negative, which you don't need any more of. The coldness can also be refreshing; to each their own)
It is also not a bad idea to have a partner or close friend there; someone you can trust absolutely.
Which brings me to the bonus round: support system. This is the single most important part (hence its inclusion without being requested).
(be forewarned, i start to ramble a little bit here. if you've gotten what you need, and you are confident in the people around you, feel free to stop reading)
Your support system is your choice. Choose someone(s) who won't judge you, who you find encouraging, and with whom you are comfortable to sit in silence.
There are sometimes minute differences between a good support and a bad one. Typically it's the tone.
If I'm feeling depressed and haven't gotten out of bed yet and it's evening, then I'm already beating myself up over that.
Toxic response: Just do it.
Helpful response: I understand that this is being difficult. What can I do?
basically, "How can I make it easier for you to do what you need?"
The key is that you are still doing the thing. They are your support, not your servant.
A support person can, but doesn't have to, also experience what you're struggling with. Experience can mean they understand better. Not experiencing can mean you are less likely to drag each other down. I have support people of both sorts, and they each have their strengths, just like in any other aspect of peopling.
Hopefully this was helpful. (hopefully you could follow my train of thought lol). If you would like further clarification or have other questions, feel free to ask. My stance on my mental health is to use my experience to help other people through theirs, so I'm happy to be able to help. It gives more meaning to my day-to-day :)
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