Keep reading it.
"But it could trigger me." So could experiencing life. Read in small doses.
"But I disagree with you on..." As I said, I'm perfectly happy to discuss. Who knows, you might even change my mind. (Not likely, but possible. I've spent a lot of time considering the things I write about. It would take a drastically new presentation or perspective, but those do exist.)
"But you offend me." Well, in that case, feel free to leave.
What?
You heard me. (Well, you read what I wrote. Close enough.)
I am perfectly happy to discuss things. I am distinctly less willing to be yelled at, verbally or otherwise, for offending someone by expressing my opinions and experiences.
When people respond to things through a lens of offense, they're significantly less open to what the other person has to say. In fact, they're more likely, I've found, to write the person off entirely.
My goal with this blog is not, in fact, to offend anyone. It's to express my struggles in a way that some people may (hopefully) find relatable, and to then advise on what helped me through those struggles (also to share favourite recipes, because baking is one of my favourite hobbies). It might help other people, and it might not. I have no idea; everybody's different. And yes, I do mean everybody.
But guess what.
We've all got stuff in common too.
Remember, the person writing this is also able to be offended, but on different things.
I would love to read your reactions to what I write, whether you're agreeing with me or not. If, however, you start attacking me, we're going to have a problem.
Now, back to triggers. That's somewhat of a hot topic these days, I hear, and there tend to be two main reactions:
- Trigger warning everything so we don't risk accidentally setting someone off
- Ignore (or even mock) triggers and warnings and proceed as usual
For those who have no idea what I'm talking about,
"A “trigger” is something that affects those who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It viscerally reminds them of a past traumatic experience, and provokes an extreme and maladaptive negative emotional response. The trigger itself is not harmful, but is something in a person’s environment that reminds that person of past trauma. The thinking behind issuing trigger warnings is that for people who have experienced trauma, distress will be reduced by warning them about possible ways in which they could be “triggered” by content that could remind them of their traumatic experience. The warning ostensibly allows them to mentally prepare for the challenge of confronting potentially triggering material, or to avoid the prospective trigger altogether."
The article goes on to say that "severe emotional reactions are not an indication that professors or others should warn students in advance that material could be triggering for those with PTSD, nor that potentially triggering material should be removed from the syllabi. Constantly warning people with PTSD about possible triggers could potentially even interfere with their recovery." So, leaning more to the second form of reaction. This is from a Harvard psychology professor and PTSD expert.
What I can say from experience is that life is full of triggers that come without warnings. We can only affix warnings to so much. If you struggle with something, you will likely be triggered at some point. Hiding from it will only make it hit that much harder. However, going out and brazenly doing things that you know will trigger you can put you in over your head and make matters worse.
I have a problem with knives. When I see one, my first, instinctive thought tends toward cutting myself. I haven't done so ever, but it's come close a number of times.
Some days, I know I'm strong enough to handle a knife and slice and dice whatever I need. Other days I'm too tired or stressed or something and it is not a good idea. Whenever I'm entering such a scenario, I stop and check in with myself. "Can I handle this today, or is it too much?" (Mindfulness is a big deal!)
I went and saw the movie Logan in theatres with my dad and two best friends. I love Marvel movies and was excited for this one. There's a scene in the movie in which a girl (maybe 10 years old?) with claws like Wolverine's uses them to cut her wrists.
I sat through the rest of the movie. I'm not quite sure how. I think basically that I was holding in the panic attack because I wanted to see the movie. I made it to the end (barely). I was a bit of a wreck for the next couple of days. I've not watched the movie again since. I enjoyed the overall story, but I need to be having a really good day to be able to handle that, and I don't really want to risk ruining a really good day like that. Not for a movie I've already seen.
Basically, the way I see it, enough exposure to the stressful situation in ways that I can handle can make me more able to handle it when it pops up unexpectedly. And then, if I can't handle it, I temporarily remove myself from the situation until I can. Continued avoidance, however, will strengthen the fear and anxiety, which is the opposite of what I want.
One quick analogy.
Picture anxiety as a monster.
How you react either feeds it or starves it. Running is food. Facing it in a way you can handle is how you starve it. You put on your armor and it can't hurt you.
If you keep facing it, it keeps getting weaker and weaker. It's still a monster, still unpleasant, but it's weaker.
If it's weaker, then when it does jump out at you, it's easier to handle.
But if you decide to face it on a day that you don't have the energy to wear any armor, then you're going to have to run away. Then you've just put yourself in a scenario where you have to feed it, so it grows stronger.
Pay attention to yourself.
Be nice to yourself.
Be strong when you can and rest when you need.
Then the monster will shrink, and you can go on with your life.
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